Thursday afternoon Thoughts

So on this quiet afternoon on Thursday as I sit here watching Captain Phillips on History Channel my thoughts are wondering about the moments leading up to what would come to be 2 years ago this weekend.  As my Michigan State friend GK reminded me, what happened two years ago was a humungous Blessing in disguise and one that was just part of the process of going through the wringer to get to where I deserve to be.  Of course that wringing involved many days of trial and error and all sorts of weird people to meet and spend time with.  There was also lots of time to spend time solo and in recovery and healing of the heart and mind and repair of connection to Samantha and one that continues to be worked on even now.  Some days go by sometimes where I dont hear from her but that is to be understood because of course she is self minded and in her own little world and her and Logan are in their own way of being and doing their own thing.  Of course when she needs something she'll reach out and bug me for money.  It of course isnt the optimal way of how I wanted or hoped things to be with us but considering where they were, I'll take what I can and when I can.  It was good of course to have them involved in the Taps at the Tower event.  Its all good though and the blessings that I have here in my tiny home and within my head is all that truly matters and that is totally credit to both this blog and my positive mindset, that which was once called a facade by someone that claimed to be a Christian woman but who also was the biggest fake judgemental person I'd ever met. But ya know what? I'm thankful for the lesson that that 6 month experience taught me and even though that person "claimed" to eventually have feelings for me, they were never solid in the first place if they were able to be shut off as easily as they were.  Not sure how that person now has strong enough feelings to be engaged to some new person and have feelings strong enough and be past those attachment issues that I'm sure still exist.  Some things just make you go hmmm. But alas, not of my concern, as the saying goes, "Not my circus, not my monkeys".  Like HMB, I wish the same for MAM and hope they both have their happiness and peace in their hearts and minds and know that they will not be forgotten but they have been forgiven.  I am at peace with them both and all the other dorks that met in passing to finally get to where I belong, the promised land and in the company of such a wonderful supportive and beautiful woman with EMM and our herd of dorky dogs and the boss kitty. I couldn't imagine life being different without Em or the herd in my world and the best to come home to.